If I had a dollar for every time I speak and the words come out wrong, I’d be a wealthy woman. It’s the result of combining neuro-spicy brain functions and mid-life changes. Sometimes the malapropisms are hilarious, though. Especially when it comes to gardening lingo.
Just this morning, I asked the hubby if it’s time to change the bandage on his recently acquired surgical wound. What came out of my mouth? “Is it time to change the bedding?” We laughed, and he knew what I meant.
In my brain, bandage = clean cover = chicken coop = bedding. It’s completely logical to a homesteader/gardener. But to those outside our gardening world, it causes head tilts.
We interact with soil, plants, and insects every day. There’s scientific proof that gardening (specifically hands in soil) improves our microbiome and overall health. Why shouldn’t it affect our vocabulary as well?
This would account for the myriad times I’ve said, “I need to prune my nails”. Completely logical, right? We gardeners prune everything around us, why not our fingernails?
Botanical Latin is another subject altogether. Unless you’ve studied Latin, every single one of us gets the pronunciation wrong. A friend once asked in a class we took together, “Okay, is it Co-tan-is-ter, or Cotton-easter?” No one could say definitively. Sure, we can ask the interwebs for pronunciation guides, but what did everyone do before then? (Yes, I was around before the internet). We gave it our best guess.
Gardeners use quirky words to describe all sorts of things. We say “volunteer”, not in reference to a helpful person, but a plant that has sprouted on its own accord. “Runners” are not fitness folks, but instead are wayward blackberry canes that pop up 15 feet away from the mother plant. And “suckers” are not gullible individuals, but rather branches sprouting from below the graft union of a tree.
If you’re new to gardening, it may take a while to pick up this garden lingo. But don’t worry, you’ll be the cause of quizzical looks in no time.
What expressions do you use every day (made up or common) that either come out wrong or invoke insider garden lingo? Post your head-scratchers in the comments.
