My friend Billy Goodnick runs a Facebook page called Crimes Against Horticulture: When Bad Taste Meets Power Tools. It is a source of endless humor for me and my fellow gardenerds.
The page features photos of really bad pruning jobs, and plants that have been butchered beyond recognition. I’m always on the hunt for examples I can send to Billy. This week’s find:
Over the years I have sent him a few images and Billy’s commentary is always hilarious. His take on this one: “here’s a tribute to the Roman aqueduct system.”
But quite possibly my best contribution to the page was “the one that started it all”, according to Billy. I had shared CAH with my husband, and one day while he was carpooling to work, he saw this and screamed, “PULL OVER!” Mad respect to this homeowner for their dedication to symmetry and clean lines. But WOW! This takes the cake:
Billy’s comment reads:
“Here’s where it all started… I was asked to appear on Joe Lamp’l’s PBS show “Growing a Greener World” to talk about Crimes Against Horticulture and an L.A. colleague’s husband just happened to send me this classic shot I called Sponge Bob Square Tree. Here’s the caption for the first post…
“My quest for the perfect Crime Against Horticulture is now complete, thanks for Andrew Cheeseman, hubby of Christy Wilhelmi, alias Garden Nerd. I don’t yet know where this resides, but somewhere in Los Angeles, George Jetson’s gardener is hovering above this tree, assuring that the top, sides and bottom are laser straight. Actually, I do appreciate the effort and finesse of the work. But it’s still SOOOO FREAKING WEIRD!!!!”
If you need a laugh amid all the craziness in the world right now, visit Crimes Against Horticulture and enjoy Billy’s finest work.
PS. Don’t do this to your fruit trees. If you are pruning while they are dormant, watch this video to help you make good choices instead.
Christy – Thank you for spreading the word about my somewhat twisted obsession with plant butchery. There’s a saying that goes, “When all you’ve got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” In the world of plant janitors (I can’t rightfully call them ‘gardeners’), its “When all your got is a gas powered hedge trimmer, everything looks like a potential victim.” That’s why I call it ‘when bad taste meets power tools.” Later, skater.
That goes along with the saying I am familiar with, “if it’s stuck, get a bigger hammer”. Hopefully folks will understand that might isn’t always right when it comes to pruning. Thanks for your services to the world, Billy.